First Step is the Hardest

When first faced with a significant challenge - be it a crisis, bad news, the worst thing that could happen [you get the gist] - extreme difficulty, the normal response is to freeze.

These moments can be paralyzing and our thinking capacity seems to only run in survival mode, that is ‘fight’ or ‘flight’ - erupt in an outburst or flee the scene. It has happened to me, plenty of times.  From airborne emergencies when I was a Navy fighter pilot, to being shot at in combat, to having overwhelming events take me over such as the attack on the Pentagon at 9/11 where I was posted.

In any scenario, it is our central nervous system that kicks in flooding the brain and body with chemicals, such as adrenaline, that makes coherent conscious thought a virtual impossibility. This emotional distress response instinctively causes us to flinch or put up our fists, literally or figuratively, until our brain overpowers it. The hardest thing to do is to get over that initial overwhelming feeling that paralyzes us and start making good decisions towards solving the problem...taking the ever important first step.

After years of experience in just this environment here are a few things I have learned that work the best:

 1.  Condition your mind with steps. 

As a fighter pilot, I learned that under extreme stress our minds revert to what they have been trained for. In many cases, the first – almost instinctive – reaction is what the mind was last practiced to do. As an F-14 Tomcat pilot for more than twenty years, I spent many calm moments in solitude thinking of my hand-to-eye movements in an emergency, beforehand:

• Aviate – get control of and fly my aircraft…if I could not, I had to bail out and that decision had to be made before I ever took off;

• Navigate – figure out where I was and where I needed to go…if I was upside down or pointed straight at the ground I needed to right the aircraft, pull out of the dive and then turn towards the closest suitable landing strip—in combat that meant getting back to friendly lines or my aircraft carrier at sea;

• Communicate – someone needed to know what happened to me, what assistance I needed, and what information other(s) would need to prepare for my recovery, including bailout.

For professional athletes, developing instinctive reactions is often known as muscle-memory. Football players keep running or pushing until the whistle blows. Basketball players shoot the ball anytime a foul whistle sounds. In the case of emotional distress it is mental-muscle-memory. Your brain will do what it is conditioned – or last practiced – to do.

This kind of behavior is applicable to anyone who finds themselves in a stressful situation but I want to focus it here on business. Whether a professional or personal shock, and I have had both, the initial emotional response is the same and has to be dealt with quickly.

To translate my military flyer training above into the business realm, the initial reaction has to be forcing aside the panic. “STAY CALM!” Talking yourself ‘down’ by saying it or thinking it can actually stave off the adrenaline rush. We do it all the time in many situations like when our kids get hurt and we have to take charge of the situation until we get help—we stay calm for them.

But you have to practice thinking and saying this to yourself in calm solitude before that unplanned shock occurs—it is what your brain will subconsciously remember. AVIATE.


 2.  Under-react, especially in front of others.

Second, as you fight with your fears for control try to under-react especially in front of others. Force yourself to examine your demeanor, “do I appear calm and in control in front of others?” Now jump to the next step.

For most any situation, it is to ask questions of others about the report you just received. Is this a first report? How do we know it is accurate? How much do we know? What else do we need to get the whole picture?

I guarantee you that almost always you will not have enough or even the right information and it will take time to get it. In any case, this will be a step in internalizing what you know and what you do not know, both of which are important. But, what you immediately begin to form is a context for the situation that gives way to which direction to take next. NAVIGATE.


 3.  Externalize and ask 'who knows?'

Third, you must externalize by asking ‘who knows?’ and ‘who needs to know?’  By communicating, even what you do not know, you are taking ownership of the problem and a solution until relieved by someone else or have the situation under control.

Think about the ‘who’ in terms of internal and external audiences. In today’s world of instant communications including the ever-present personal social media, no news withheld gets better with age. Recall the many good and bad examples we all have witnessed when it comes to dealing with difficulty—in every case good communications always made the best of any situation while poor to no communications made things worse. In today’s world one thing is for certain...whatever you are dealing with will not be kept a secret for long. COMMUNICATE.

Remember, from the initial stage of your challenge take a finite amount of time—between 15-60 minutes—to go over pertinent questions and write down answers, in solitude, before going to or forming your team. Get yourself collected and as ready as you can before leading others. This solitude, as is critical for training your brain, is what will separate you form other managers in dealing with extreme adversity where the first step is the hardest.